Bump Watch: Pregnancy, what they don’t tell you

March 18, 2014

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For a first time pregnant woman (not calling myself a mom yet) pregnancy is a beautiful thing. Yet, there are things about pregnancy that no one cared to share. They are the mishaps that I shared (unfortunately) with my patient and saint-like husband. Thankfully, it has made our marriage stronger than ever to go through it all together. Here is an inside look at the unexpected journey of the first trimester. The things friends don’t tell you and books don’t explain (or maybe they do and I haven’t read the right ones yet).

I’ve cried through a sad movie or two pre-pregnancy. However nothing warned me about the emotional changes that happen during pregnancy. Let me give you two fun examples.

Example #1: I love cream cheese, even more now that Baby Calderwood loves cream cheese. I could eat it on anything, in a box, with a fox, you name it! Cream cheese (in my household) may be the solution to finding world peace. I was dancing happily, waiting for my toaster to pop out these two golden brown, crispy and crunchy bagel slices – when I danced over to the refrigerator. I opened the door and took my first look… No cream cheese? Don’t panic. The world is still spinning. Let’s thoroughly investigate every shelf and drawer. No cream cheese! It was in this exact moment that the world, as I knew it, came crashing down. My poor husband must have thought a tragic event was taking place, well it was – we didn’t have any cream cheese for my golden, crispy, crunchy bagel. I cannot begin to describe the massive alligator tears that streamed down my face. The inconsolable sobbing and mourning of my dear cream cheese. I was crying so hard – I could barely breathe. My husband stood in the door way of our kitchen, with this stupid smirk on his face and said “Babe – just put some butter on the bagel, we can get some cream cheese in the morning.” That’s when the tears instantly turned to rage. Who did he think he was? The master of bagel making? Without stopping the vocal force in my throat, I let out a “LEAVE ME ALONE.” The screaming sob could be compared to a toddler. I should have thrown myself on the floor for a more dramatic appeal. Hindsight is 20/20. To sum up the story – pregnancy and hormone changes can rear their little heads at any given moment. You must be prepared. In my case, we keep cream cheese stocked like our kitchen is an Einstein Bagel joint.

Example #2: (this one’s for the husbands). Pregnancy can make a woman crazy lovey-dovey. There have been moments when I look at my husband and I could squeeze him so hard, just because I love him so much. He’s my perfection. One evening, while watching TV, we sat side by side on our couch, in our ‘reserved seating.’ He was reading on his iPad, I was flipping back and forth from the Olympics and a Law & Order Marathon. I noticed him out of the corner of my eye, and found myself oogly eyed staring at him. I reached out my hand and sheepishly said “Do you want to hold my hand?” and I gave him my best smile…. His reply… “Not really.” The emotions instantaneously boiled behind my eyeballs and alligator tears shot out like firing missiles. Hysterically, I sobbed and said “All I want to do was hold your hand because I love you and I think you are so special to me and I can’t believe you don’t want to hold my hand and I’m tired and going to bed” – All like that, all in one glorious run on sentence. He stared at me in disbelief and started to nervously giggle. He said, “Oh hun – don’t cry I just didn’t want to hold your hand, I’m reading. Why are you crying?” All I could say between hyperventilating sobs was “BECAUSE I LOVE YOU,” and then, within minutes I was asleep. I am convinced that my husband thinks I am an impersonator who escaped a mental institution. Moral of the story: If your highly emotional pregnant wife wants to hold your hand on the couch. Do it.

So moral of my two fun fact stories? The first trimester brings on a whole new level of sensitivity, tears and sleepiness. Tears that haven’t been produced by my tear ducts since I was 4 years old and I couldn’t get a toy in the checkout line. And naps consistent with a 1 week old or a narcoleptic.

I’m excited to experience this pregnancy and share it with all of you on Bump Watch. I know many of you have had the “Pavilion experience” and I am eager to experience it for myself. Let me know if you have any suggestions for when I get there! For now, let’s see what the second trimester brings!