While National Child Abuse Awareness and Prevention Month in April shines a light on the prevalence of child abuse and the importance of looking out for the safety of children, Texas Children’s team member Brandon Graf has a deep and personal connection to the cause.
Graf is a familiar face and presence to many who have visited or worked at Texas Children’s Hospital West Campus, where he delivered warm greetings as a personnel screening associate for the Screening Department until April 1 of this year.
“This month is very important to me as a survivor of intense child abuse,” said Graf, who has now transitioned into a role as a patient care assistant on the 5 West inpatient unit. He also volunteers as a sitter for behavioral health as an additional way to offer comfort, safety and care to our patients and their families.
“I am who I am today because of what I went through,” he said. “It made me a stronger and better person with a deep compassion and conviction to help others.”
The hardships that later sparked advocacy
Graf’s experience with child neglect and abuse goes from as far back as he can remember until he was adopted at nine-and-a-half years old. He was born to meth-addicted parents in Omaha, Nebraska. His father was never in the picture and his mother was unable to properly care for her children because of her drug addiction, he said.
Graf remembers being left alone for hours along with his younger sister, sometimes going without food for a week at a time. During those bleak days, they found dog food to eat. On the occasions when he went into a store with his mother, he often shoplifted food in his backpack to survive. He was thankful that adults overlooked this act of desperation, he said, but disappointed they seemed complacent about taking action to help him and his sister.
The siblings endured nearly three more years of neglect until authorities were prompted to remove them from their mother’s care after she overdosed on drugs at a stop sign while driving. Child Protective Services placed Graf and his sister in foster care together, but his experience with child abuse didn’t stop when he became part of the system.
There, he faced sexual abuse as well as neglect – and though it was obvious to Graf that his caregivers were loving toward his sister, he said they didn’t make time to understand his special needs after he was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder.
The new beginning that changed everything
Graf experienced a positive new beginning when he and his sister were adopted in November 2005 and moved to Houston with their new family.
After years of feeling worthless, he worked with therapists who helped him see the abuse was never his fault. He was able to make peace with everything he had suffered, and developed the capacity to provide the care and compassion that he hadn’t received as a child.
When he was still in high school, Graf realized he had a gift for helping others who were struggling emotionally. He noticed a friend was having a rough day and encouraged her to talk about it. Listening and sharing his own story helped his friend open up about troubling things that were happening at her home.
Inspired, Graf organized Helping Hands, a small group of student volunteers at the high school who supported fellow students when they needed to talk. The volunteers set aside time to listen to their peers and made referrals to the school counselor if requested.
The power of positivity
Texas Children’s has been the perfect place for Graf’s compassion and empathy to really shine. After years of fighting to get to where he is today, he is now in a position to take better care of others – and he believes that things can only continue to get better.
“My calling is to be a light for other people,” Graf said. “It’s really important to me.”
He has also learned the importance of being kind to himself. As he coped with the isolation of the pandemic, he repeated some of his favorite affirmations to stay positive: you are worth something, everything happens for a reason, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Then, being true to his nature, he shared what he learned with others.
A message shared by his biological grandmother has become words for him to live by.
“Kindness and compassion are the keys to a brighter future,” Graf said. “We just have to be willing to humble ourselves.”
View the images of Graf through the years below.
One in seven children suffer from some form of abuse, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Texas Children’s organizes events every April for National Child Abuse Awareness and Prevention Month that focus on keeping children resilient and safe, including Blue Ribbon Day, when our team members tie ribbons to the fence at Texas Children’s playground in honor of children who are victims of abuse or neglect. This year, each ribbon represented four children in the greater Houston area that are confirmed victims of abuse. We appreciate Brandon Graf for sharing his story and being an advocate.
